How to Be Happy -- Like Actually Happy!

Do you have those days when you just don’t want to do anything? You feel lazy. You’re not excited. And God knows that if you get another Facebook game notification you might just go berserk.We all have those days. It’s normal. But if it’s an everyday thing, there’s a problem. Don’t worry you’re not depressed. You’re just suffering from what I like to call not-doing-what-you-love-ism (yes, I just made that up — stick with me here!).

When you’re too busy giving all of your energy to things you don’t want to do, you become drained. You hit a point when you don’t want to do anything. You wonder what your purpose is and why you should even care. Am I right? Can I get an amen?!

The solution? It’s actually quite simple: do what FEELS GOOD. That’s it. If you don’t want to be on that board for that project, then don’t. Save that time and energy to do something you love.

Now, don’t think that this means you can skip out on the dishes because “you don’t feel like doing them”. That’s called making up an excuse. When you do what feels good, that means putting your time and energy into things that are going propel your dreams and desires forward. Want your apartment to look like the ones on Pinterest? Then you better go clean those dishes honey! See how that works. You have a desire, and you take actions to fulfill that desire.

I had to learn this the hard way. I can’t begin to count how many days I was just miserable and tired. I think it’s safe to say that I slept a good chunk of my years away. Why? Because I was drained. I was doing what everyone else wanted me to do and not what I wanted me to do. Fast forward to today and daaamn life couldn’t be better! 

Every single decision I make revolves around my core desires and how I want to feel. And you know what? I feel fucking good! Not only has my business (which for two years was dead flat — like flatter than a girl with no ass, flat) taken off, but I’m happy. Like really happy. Like I’ll jump off the moon and float to earth happy (yes I know you can’t float to earth — but stay with me!). 

So try it. Do what feels good. Do what you love. Do what you fucking love! Then come see me in two months and tell me how you feel.

And if you’re wondering how to figure out what the hell you even want, that’s for another time. I’ve got something up my sleeves to help you with that ;) **HINT, if you're on my list -- you'll know much sooner than later!**

how I finally lost weight after a year of trying everything!

Raise your hand if you love being in your birthday suit. See how many hands went up? Not many.

Why are we so vile towards our body? Spitting venomous words at ourselves saying how bad we look. Why is it that when we see even one dimple in our leg we lose it? Why must we have that exact hourglass shape? What happened to that childlike confidence we had?

I’ll tell you what happened. Society crammed as much information into our heads telling us who and what we should be. You’ve gotta be a size 2 if you want to be pleasing to the eye, but make sure you’ve got the voluptuous boobs and ass to look sexy; we don’t want you too thin now ya hear? Oh and grow your hair out until it’s mermaid long with waves cascading down. Your face has to be flawless but not like a cake face. Maybe you should try raw foodism, or veganism, vegetarianism, paleo. Better yet, just eat less and work out more. You’ll lose the weight then for sure.

It’s all bullshit. We’re constantly being fattened up with lies. That’s not who you are, au naturel. You don’t have to be a size 2 to be sexy. Shoot, I can be a size 12 or 14 in some stores and I still feel better than Beyonce sexy. Wear your hair how you want. Don’t fall victim to the long tresses trend. If you want short blue hair then go for it! Rihanna doesn’t change her hair for nobody right? 

Stop suffocating yourself. Let your inner genius out and let it shine baby! Don’t beat up on yourself because you don’t look like that “dream girl” on your vision board. In fact, take that shit down now. You are you. God created you exclusively. Think about it. There is NO other you in this universe. No one can twirl your hair like you do no matter how hard they try. No one can rock that outfit. And no one can look exactly like you. Stop trying to be normal. Fuck ordinary. It’s boring. Be you. That’s way more fun.

Why am I so vocal about this? You see, I stifled my true self for years. I was always trying to be someone I wasn’t. A fake. A phony. Completely made out of plastic. 

Last year I gained a massive amount weight. I loathed it because I no longer fit what society wanted (literally — the clothes I wanted to wear would not work with my body). I was supposed to be the size two with the hourglass shape, curves so deep, no car could get around em’, right? So, I declared I would get that body.

I tried everything ya’ll, literally. I did the juicing, the smoothies, heck I even went vegan AND vegetarian. I exercised like crazy. Elliptical, treadmill, the bike, strength training, cardio. Name it, I did it. And you know what happened next? I gained even more weight! Within that year I gained about 20 to 40 pounds!!

What was I doing wrong? I was trying to do what everyone else was doing — I was following the status quo. I could care less about what worked for me. I was just frustrated that my ass was getting rectangle flat, the cellulite valleys were deepening, and the kangaroo pouch on my belly seemed to be getting fatter. I had rolls on my back the size of buttery biscuits.

But then a change occurred. And not just your typical one degree evolutionary change. It was a revolutionary change! Somehow, some way, God led me to the most amazing women on this planet. Women who didn’t follow any specific way of eating. You know what they did? They did what felt damn good. If eating something made them feel energized, they would keep eating it. If it did the opposite, it got cut.

Even the exercising was different. It was more like “I feel like doing yoga today, so that’s what I’m going to do” or “Damn my legs are painful sore after that workout yesterday, let’s do arms!” or even “I’m up for a crazy upbeat workout today” — as they blast loud music. 

Doing what felt good for my body was the best change I could have ever made. I no longer look at a scale — I couldn’t even tell you what I weigh right now — but I could tell you one thing: my body has never looked better! I’ve never felt more confident. And heck yes I would wear my birthday suit anywhere!

These ladies, whether they know it or not have been a HUGE influence in my life. I’m not where I want to be yet with my body, but I know I’ll get there, and I’ll feel fucking damn good about it.

THE Ladies

Brenda-Leigh Turner. You can find this pretty lady here, here and here. Want all the juicy details from her? Get her book. You will not look back!

Zuzka. She made me realize that I don’t have to work out for 4 hours everyday. A super intense 20 minute workout get’s the job done and more. Find her here, here, and here. And to try her workout program, click here. 

Kristen Hedges. Her real, raw and honest posts make my spirit tingle. She’s straight up honest about her diet and she’s got the experiences to back it up -- and now she's got the cutest baby bump! Find her here and here.

how I quit the natural hair community & got my life and wallet back

No poo. Low poo. Co-wash. Curly Girl Method. It's an epidemic really.

Three years ago we were taught the old shampoo n' condition method. Today all of these new methods and formulas are being fired at us in a war of which method is the best. The world of super foods, oils and recipes are beginning to swallow each and every one of us up. Ever find yourself smearing avocado and banana on your hair hoping it doesn't harden and turn your hair into a banana loaf cake? I've been there too.

And it's all fun and games until your wallet starts running on E. Shit, curly girl life can get expensive! Not to mention who guilty the whole "natural hair" community can make you feel for not doing things "the right way". Like one time, I filmed a video of my hair regimen and got scolded for not detangling my hair the correct way. I mean, excuse me for doing MY hair the way I want to right?

It's madness I tell you! *insert the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland* And I fell for it, hard. I can't begin to tell you how much money I wasted buying into these different methods (it's been hundreds I'm sure).

And don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming these different methods. But there had  to be a change. I couldn't keep trying all of these new things and burning a hole in my pocket.

So I changed. I made my hair routine so simple and inexpensive that not only was my wallet ecstatic, but my hair actually began to heal (yeah, I didn't mention how fried it is from dyeing it -- ladies that is a big no no! -- don't bleach your hair, or use too much heat on it).

I stopped giving into the latest crazes. I decided to experiment, figure out exactly what worked for me, and then stick with it.

It took me a while to realize and accept that my hair was not like any of the young women on YouTube, that my hair was my hair, and it was amazing the way that it was, that I didn't have to use X and Y products on my hair because to be quite honest, my hair HATED it.

I love my hair, damage and all, and I am now on a journey to heal it from the inside out using methods that work for me.

I hope that you too will realize how special you are and how beautiful your hair is. You don't have to look like the girls on YouTube, or have type 3A hair or use Z and W products. Do what works for you, and work it!

I love you! You have no idea how much I appreciate your support and reading of this blog :)

how to be more productive!

Ever have those mornings where you feel like everything is going wrong?

You're running late, your makeup is shot, you're wearing two different shoes -- been there?

I'm gonna let you in on a secret: when you start your day like that, it's pretty difficult to get back on track, UNLESS, you're prepared!

How do you get prepared? By having a morning routine.

Your morning routine does not have to be complicated. It could be an extra 10 minutes in the morning to just wake up or give yourself more time to get dressed.

Start little by little and add on from there. Within a month you'll notice how much more productive you are in the mornings and how much SMOOTHER your days are.

If you already have a morning routine in place or you're planning to start now, I'd love to hear what you do in the morning. Maybe I'll add it to my routine!

Talk to me in the comments below, or come chat with me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

can beauty really be easy?

Yes it most definitely can!

For years I've struggled with horrible breakouts and dry skin. My solution? Pile on tons and tons of products that are supposed to make it go away.

But it didn't. It would get better, then worse, then better; like a roller coaster. I'm sure we've all been on this ride right?

There are 2 things that affect your skin: what you're eating + what you're putting on your face. This took me a while to learn but now that I've got it down, I'm sharing this inside information with you :)

Today we start with what you're putting on your skin. I don't want to overwhelm you or make you feel like you have to throw everything away so we'll start slow.

Super easy right? 3 simple steps. Cut down that ridiculously long regimen and keep it simple. I promise your skin will love and thank you!

Now, a word of advice: do NOT mask your face everyday. You should only be putting on a mask one to two times a week max! You don't want to overdo it -- trust me, I've done that.

Try this for 2 weeks and let me know how your skin likes it. I challenge you to simplify your regimen. 

Tweet me or tag me in a photo on Instagram showing me your flawless skin!

what to wear: how to keep your closet simple

It's official! Selah, Be is on YouTube! Exciting right?

So enough about me, let's talk about you. What can you expect from this YouTube channel? What does Selah, Be offer that you can't get from other channels? The answer is TIME!

What's the number one thing we all wish we had? Time, right? That's how Selah, Be is going to help you.

On this channel we're going to delve into how to make life more simple, starting with your closet, creating more time for you to do, well whatever you want to do!

So pop open a bottle of champagne + celebrate with us! Here's do creating more time to do, YOU.

make your day easy with basic clothing

After years of getting frustrated with not knowing what to wear, I finally realized the problem: there's just too much stuff in my closet! There's so many mismatched clothing along with pieces that no longer fit, or fell apart and blah blah blah -- you understand.

I think sometimes we become so consumed in the latest trends. We think "Oh that's so cute, I've gotta have that!". Then a few months down the road -- maybe sooner -- you hate it. It doesn't match anything or it's out of style.

My point is, sometimes less is more. I'm learning now that it's better to invest in pieces that will actually last than to just buy cheap clothing to last a short while. So while I'm on this journey to rebuilding my closet, I am going to give you the best tips and tricks I've learned so that you can avoid dealing with the frustration 

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